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Maybe it’s the holidays. Maybe it’s this impending divorce. But I feel very sad. I don’t have anyone to spend time with. I just feel alone and sad and lonely. And I pray of course, but I would just like to be able to spend quality time with someone. I would like to just reach across my couch and give someone a kiss or a hug. A comforting touch is what I am craving, needing, desiring. And especially…missing. I could choose any ole fool that came across my path, but come on. I don’t need to add more stress and trouble to my life by getting involved with some retarded ass fool. Am I too picky? Should I just talk to anyone willing to take on a single mother with two kids? Lots of women do it, they just invite a man to come and live with them and be in a relationship because they don’t want to be by themselves. So how come I can’t do it? Why can’t I just jump into a relationship and deal with whatever consequences would come later from it? At least just for a little while, whilst I get through this divorce, you know? Cause the pain of all of this divorce madness is overwhelming. Everyday I fight the desire to jump off of a building just to get released from the pain. The pain of rejection from my STBX and the pain of rejection from society. I am a beautiful woman, but I’m still lonely. I am also scared to death of these dating sites. Is this the only way that I will ever meet a good, quality man? Seriously??? It’s a little depressing being in my 30’s and having to start this dating crap all over again, only because the man that I felt I was meant to be with for the rest of my life decided to be a selfish dick and abandon his family for his own selfishness. Now, I have to live and experience the dating faux pas’ that a person is supposed to experience in their 20’s. I don’t know. I’m just tired of coming home and laying in this bed by myself and sitting on this couch by myself. And hell, doing EVERYTHING by myself. Human beings are supposed to be lived in pairs. This being single crap is for the birds. 

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