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Well, 2014 is starting off very nicely. And I mean this sincerely. One, because I finally have some peace in my life and while it’s there, I shall embrace it and accept it and appreciate it. Second, my STBX is still trying to get under, on, OVER my nerves and it’s the peace that is residing in my spirit that is keeping me from reacting and getting all emotional. Let me lay a little back story on ya, when he left, he would ask for the girls when it wasn’t his weekend to have them. And at first, I didn’t have a problem with it because I figured, I have to do things like this for the girls and why should the girls get punished because their father is acting like a jackass? Right? Okay. But then, I noticed, when I would ask him to reciprocate by allowing me to take the girls to a party while they were on his time, (my first time asking him, btw) he straight out told me NO. That when it’s his time with the girls, it’s his time and he will not give them to me. I think that’s when I truly hit my rock bottom with this man. The selfishness was too great with that man. The few times I’d said no to something, he’d have a tantrum and call me out my name and all kinds of good stuff. And then in the next breath and the next day I might add, he’d ask me for another favor. And because I was so in looooove, I’d give in to him like a dummy. Now, the dummy ain’t so in love and ain’t so dumb anymore. So, I made a decision based off of his selfishness. We’re going to stick to our regularly scheduled programming. The temporary parenting agreement that we have. We’re not going to alter it. Not even one iota. No more favors. I don’t care if on my weekend I have a chance to go hang out with Hollywood celebrities! I’m not going to change the course. He claims he wants to start over, and re-establish a cordial relationship with me, but it’s funny how he wants this relationship in lieu of getting the girls for this weekend for some party. This man always wants to play nice and be nice when it comes to getting what he wants. And then the moment he gets what he wants, he becomes the same selfish piece of shit he’s always been. Or what he turned into once he moved out the house. And I can tell you right now what the backlash is going to be regarding my not allowing him to get the girls on a weekend that isn’t even his. He’s either going to: A) skimp on the teeny bit of child support or B) he’s going to try to claim one of the kids before me on his taxes. LOL! Knowing that he’s not supposed to do this, mind you. But then again, selfish people really don’t give a damn, now do they? No, they do not. I’m glad that I can laugh about this now, because last year, around this time I would have been a hot, hot mess. An emotional mess. A fool in love of a mess. I just ask the Lord everyday to prepare my heart for his selfish shenanigans because he’s never going to change. Not without the help of Jesus. And since he doesn’t want Jesus’ help, I have to change and get stronger in order to not get hurt by my STBX’s words or actions.  Just keep praying for me and of course, everyday will be a test of just how strong I have gotten (and will continue to get) and how much hope and faith I have in the Lord to get me through this situation with this idiot. 

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