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Still feeling weird. Am I mourning my divorce? Can I mourn it before it’s official? As the days get closer, I can feel something stirring in my spirit. It’s a feeling of uneasiness and sadness and anxiety and I know that is not from the Lord. What makes it even weirder is the question of why now? Why am I feeling this way? I have accepted that he wasn’t going to come back no matter how much praying and fasting I did. I accepted it, didn’t like it, but I accepted it. And I was feeling at peace once the new year came around. And now, I feel a bit, i don’t really know. I just feel discombobulated. My feelings are all over the place. I have peace and joy, but they are trying to eek out over the heads of the other emotions that are trying to take first place in my heart and mind. I have been praying and reading my bible and listening to praise music and listening to the pastors on TV, but these nasty emotions keep on invading my space. Anyone else ever felt like this before when it came to their divorce? QUEASY! That’s the word that I am looking for, freaking queasy. And I usually feel this way when the Holy Spirit is trying to alert me to something, but what? The STBX and I have nothing left to discuss. We had our (hopefully) last argument the day before. I have already prepared myself for any future shenanigans but that’s not it. My spirit is warning me of something else. I think the only way to figure what it is about is to get on the floor and pour my heart and soul out to God. Cause I have hit a brick wall…..

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