I look at some of the photos and entries on FB from my friends and I regretfully find myself jealous sometimes. It seems like their whole lives have been nothing but happy moments, with blessings and it looks like everything they’ve ever touched or thought has always been turned to gold. Great husbands, owning their own home, great job, great experiences, financial stability and of course, just plain ole happiness in their corner. And it’s hard for me not to feel jealous or bad about feeling jealous because I think I had that once. It seemed like I did, but I obviously didn’t or my ex-husband wouldn’t have abandoned his family like he did, right?
IDK……I just feel like it’s rough for me to feel happy for others. Is that so wrong? I know that it’s just a fleeting feeling, it’s not how I really feel. And I would never wish ill-will towards anyone. I just have to pray over myself and remember that I can have my fairy-tale become a reality too. It’ll just take sometime. And I also know that things that look all hunky-dory on the outside can be a mish-mosh of hell on the inside. I know that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence. I would just like to remember what that grass feels like under my feet, one more time…….