It’s been a little more than a minute since the last time I wrote about something. And this time, what I write about is gonna be a doozy….
I. Met. A. Boy….
LOL! Yes, chile! And let me just say, he is a man, not a boy, but it sounded better the way I initially wrote it. And being in this situation is weird, to say the lest. Extremely weird. Getting to know him has been awkward. Talking on the phone is awkward. But I keep persevering because I do want to get to know him better, and it’s easier for me to just give up instead of driving forward into getting to know him. Especially since he lives in another country. O_O
Yes, he lives outside of the US, but I met him here. Two years younger, a single father to two little girls and he is a Christian as well. He’s a good guy, but the timing couldn’t have been any worse, right? Right.
But talking to him is fun when it isn’t awkward. And we IM a lot since calling can’t always happen. It’s just very nice to have this kind of attention. Someone actually wants me and even though he’s a million miles away, is still vying for my attention and wants to be in my life.
I like that. I’m telling myself to just enjoy the ride, enjoy the phone calls and the IM’ing. And if it doesn’t work out, I haven’t invested too much. Just a little time, that’s all. Hell, let’s be real, if I wasn’t talking to him, I’d just be laying on my couch, dating Netflix. At least I’m getting back in the game. Kinda-sorta.
Also, I realized not having him fully around is good for me because I can still focus on God and not give all my attention to him. Girls have a tendency to do that. Give all their attention and time to men in the beginning of a relationship and then lose themselves in the process. I can’t lose myself in this because there is no one physically present to lose myself to! Btw, is this a relationship? How the heck will I know when it turns into a relationship?! I need Dating for Dummies! LOL!!!
And I still have a very high, very thick wall that will be tremendously tough to knock down, so him being away is best for both of us. I have already been rejected by the ex-husband and the ex-married lover. No need for a round three so soon in my life. So, taking things extremely slow is perfect. I don’t think my heart could take another knock-out loss.
I’m a cacophony of feelings and emotions. We’ll just see where this ride takes me… 🙂