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heart

Yeah, that pretty much sums up what I need to do with myself. I need to get myself together with more prayer, more fasting and more eliminations from my life.

My thoughts are always swirling, whirling, tossing and chaotic.

Dark, then light. Happy then sad.

Sometimes I am filled to the brim with the Holy Spirit and other times, I feel like the devil is cradling me in his arms. Scary, right???? SHEESH! I am scared after writing it! But it is the way that I feel sometimes and I know how to fight against those feelings. They are feelings, nonetheless.

I’m at another crossroads in my life. The Lord is trying to lead me somewhere, and I don’t want to follow. And I know that is what the problem is. The spirit is always willing, but the flesh never wants to follow.

And I am the one praying for God to lead me and to live His will, so there are times when I feel like a complete hypocrite for going against what He wants from me. UGH!!!! When does it stop, Lord?!

I guess when I want it to, huh? I have to decide if I am for Him or against Him. I can’t keep straddling the fence. Or like I have said before, “You can’t walk with God and hold hands with the devil.”

I wish I could get out of my own head every once in a while.

A man can’t fix it, sex won’t fix it, and being still ain’t helping either.

Go ahead and take the wheel, Lord. Everyday, if I have to, I will surrender myself over to You.

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