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Did you guys see that movie, War Room? It is a Christian movie about fighting through prayer. It was awesome! I plan on seeing it again. I think I’ll take my gremlins with me the next time. Never too soon to prepare them for battle! I just bought my oldest the prettiest, NLT bible the other day. She already has like, 2 others, but I want her to be able to understand what she’s reading. NIV can be a little tricky and even though the NKJV is okay, it can still be a little confusing.

I wish I had had access to the NLT (New Living Translation) bible when I was younger. I had to suffer through the King James version for years! I had no clue what I was reading, which made it harder for me to understand what God was saying. The NLT, in my opinion, is straight up English. Layman terms, if you will. I love it, it’s great! And I can’t wait to read it with her!

OAN: I’ve been having some weird ass dreams. For 2-3 days, I had dreams of the ex. And he was back in my life, as a husband or something. O_O….

I couldn’t even believe! I couldn’t even believe it in the dream! And it was in my gosh darn head! LOL!!! He was there, and I was skeptical and looking at him sideways in the dream. And I told him he had to leave. To go back to the sluf heffa. And he wouldn’t go. But then there was a dream where he was there, and she called him, apologizing to him for what she had done and asking him to come back and he was looking at me, smiling (what for, I have no idea) and he just kept telling her no.

And I kept telling him he had to go. I didn’t want him anymore. Especially since she was his baby mama. Who the hell wants to deal with that bullshit? Not me. I had the feeling that he wanted to go back to her anyways, as if he was struggling between the thoughts of who he wanted to be with, but he wouldn’t budge.

So, in the middle of that dream, I started rebuking the dream in the name of God. I swear I did. I was that aware. I told God to take this crap outta my head, that I was not falling for this mess again. The mess where I dream of reconciliation and then I wake up to the nightmare that was my life and the divorce.

I don’t think that dream was from God. It’s been two days since I rebuked those dreams in the name of Jesus and I haven’t had another one since. I wonder, why? Why and what does the enemy want with me? I am no one. And he already took my husband and destroyed my marriage, what more does he need?

I’m no one of great societal importance. I don’t do anything in the church that is in the leadership position. So why attack me? But I realized that it’s my peace. It’s my faith and my trust in the Lord that he wants. And he goes through weak vessels, i.e. the ex, to try to get at me.

A year or two ago, that kind of dream would have restarted my belief in praying for my marriage to be restored and thinking hard that my family would have been reconciled and we would be one happy family again.

Wrong answer! I am stronger and I have my heart, will and thoughts aligned with those of the Lord’s. I refuse to fall victim to the wiles of the enemy ever again, as long as I can help it. And with the strength from the Holy Spirit, I will.

I’m still not talking to my ex, but I forgive him. I still have anger, and hurt and pain that needs to be dealt with, but everyday gets better. I know how to fight now. By praying and giving it all to the Lord. And when my ex or my mother and my brothers come at me hard, I go to the Lord all the more hard with my prayers and I then leave it alone.

Control is a super hard thing to give up as a human being. But it’s either stay a control freak with a full head of gray hair, or give it up to the Lord and stay looking fabulous and at peace! I choose the latter, if you don’t mind… šŸ™‚

I did have a dream that I went to Hawaii, though. I’m going to hope that that was all GOD, I could use a tropical vacation….lmboooooo. Bless me, ABBA! Hawaii, here I come!