Yesterday was good. It was sweet, uneventful, and full of joy and laughter. I had a good time, first, with my girls at my in-laws house, (sans ex) and then i went solo to one of my friend’s house. And all day I received texts of turkey love from friends and family.
There were moments of small anxiety episodes but I overcame them. Little moments of depression mixed with memories but nothing I couldn’t pray away. It wasn’t super easy but at least I am not where I used to be. I have come a long way.
Weekends without my babygirls and sharing holidays still suck 100% but I am getting more and more used to it. I should already be used to it by now, right? I’ll still take it day by day. Four years is a long time, but whatever.
And because it’s the holidays, I am thinking about someone I have no business thinking about, simply because I am missing them and super lonely. Damn these holidays for being family and couple oriented.
But at least I can handle those thoughts and memories. They don’t cause me anxiety. A little sadness, but nothing that can’t be patiently prayed away. Lol…
Why is it that you always want the person or thing that you can’t/aren’t supposed to have? That saying is so totally true. Life’s a bitch and then you die. I wish I could be one of those women that are totally at peace with being the “other woman.” I think it would make my life so much easier.
I could be at ease with my decisions and I don’t even think I’d get attached emotionally. But, oh NO! I have to fall in love and shit. Lol…
I can laugh now. With that situation and my ex-husband situation. Regardless, the holidays have started off pretty okay. And I’m happy with that. 😄