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People are always asking me if I am getting along with my ex now, because they know how things were/has been for the last 4 years. And I always give them the same answer. “Things are great! Especially since I am not asking him for anything. But the minute I do, his claws and unreasonable manor comes out.”

Can you guess what happened? šŸ™‚

YUP! I had the AUDACITY to ask this man for something! Can you believe my chutzpah?!

Yes, chile! Me, his high school sweetheart, turned wife, turned mother of his two (legal) children turned unbeknownst to her, ex-wife. Had the BALLS to ask him for a favor.

Which didn’t require any money from him, mind you. Just required a little time and energy.

What was this outrageous, egregious favor I asked of him? To fill out a form that would give me permission to get passports for our two kids. SOMEBODY CALL THE COPS, I’M OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!!

I didn’t ask him to pay for the passports. I simply asked for his signature. And to get the forms notarized. That’s all folks. LITERALLY.

His reply was that he did not think that we were on the same page when it came to co-parenting and that because I did not provide him with flight information from previous vacations (within the US), that he was not going to sign anything until our co-parenting improved.

Well, excuse me, Senor Beotch! Could have fooled the crap out of me. I thought we were co-parenting just fine. I mean, you see your kids on your time, you call them whenever the wind hits you just right or whenever you remember you have kids AND, I’m no longer asking you for any money outside of the child support. That last time when I asked you for that huge amount of money, remember that whopping $60 and you told me to fuck off? Trust me, I learned my lesson! And have since then, have not bothered you a lick!

And now that I am asking you to fill out a form, you are going straight ham on me once again…

You wanna know what I told him as a response? I replied, “No problem.”

And it really isn’t a problem, because after that, I got my butt on the internet and started looking for the documentation that I will need to file a motion to get this done. He is just being unreasonable and ain’t nobody got time for that!

I can no longer be bothered with the bullshit. This wasn’t the way that I wanted to end nor start my year, but hey. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. And just because he’s too chicken shit to leave his neighborhood, doesn’t mean that my girls have to be the same way too.

As long as God is blessing me, I will explore the world with my gremlins. I will enlighten them to culture and beauty beyond what they see at home. And God is blessing me.

But you know what’s so good about karma? The ex actually had to ask me for a favor right after he told me to go to hell about the passports. I haven’t responded to his email yet, but I will. And I will remind him that reciprocation goes a long way. Let’s see if any of that falls, lands and sticks in that hollowed out log he calls a head….