I need to stay off of Facebook. At least until Feb. Why? Because of all the holiday cheery goodness that’s running rampant on social media. I am not bitter, but I still get sad at the fact that holidays are for families, I mean, WHOLE families and mine is still very much broken.
I have two friends that got engaged this week. And I am happy for them, don’t get me wrong, but again, my broken heart. It just takes me back to being married and how my asshole ex mucked everything up with his selfishness. Add to that the fact that these engagements were like, how I would have loved to have gotten engaged, you know, surrounded by friends and family and totally surprised, and you can understand how I would be a tad affected by all of this.
Plus, the idiot ex and his pregnant slut is due in January and I really don’t want to see anyone liking his pictures or anything like that. I will have to endure what I will have to endure in due time, and I don’t need to see anyone congratulating him.
That’s how I feel and I am entitled to how I feel, thank you very much.
I have a friend that is going through some emotional turmoil as well. I will try to be there for him as much as I can. But his relationship with his ex gf is retarded. They break up to makeup, that’s all they do. (song pun intended).
But I am here to be his shoulder as he has been for me. I just pray he finds someone else. The holidays can also be the most loneliest times of the year. But I’ve been keeping busy with the girls and church. I haven’t receded into the bowels of deep depression. And I don’t think that I will. I have been keeping busy with church and work and family.
And I have been doing a lot of praying. Loads and tons of prayer. The ex-married lover told me that prayer doesn’t work. Yeah, sure it doesn’t. If he only knew what I know. He laughs at the relationship that I have with Christ. I think it’s partly out of jealousy that he can’t or rather doesn’t want to have a relationship with him.
But I know how powerful prayer can be and I know that it is working in me, through me and over me. I know because I feel it and I have seen what prayer can do. When I am walking in God’s will and doing things God’s way, I see my prayers manifest. Just like with this holiday season, I can see and feel myself a lot more stronger than last year.
There may be some things that are still hard to tolerate, but, that’s what prayer is for. 🙂
So my mission for the rest of the year will be to stay off of Facebook as much as I possibly can, to comfort those that need comfort and to continue to pray until I can’t pray anymore. Yep….sounds good to me!