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Yeah, this is what I’ve been dealing with for the past few days. Injured sesamoid bones that I didn’t even know existed until they started hurting like a mutha-lova. How did I injury these previously unknown, non-existent in my mind bones? I have no freakin’ clue! I went away to New Orleans for Spring Break with my girls and came back a physically injured woman. LOL! Is this part of aging? Body just breaking down and hurting for no reason whatsoever? I mean, I am not yet 40. I’ve still got a couple of years before all hell should be breaking loose in my body, right?

I’ve got crutches and everything! I have never needed crutches before in my life (thank the Lord!) so it’s all new to me. I’m just glad that my foot wasn’t broken, or worse, that it was gout. My foot was bothering me before New Orleans, and I’m guessing it is because of all the squats and lunges that I was doing before my trip. When I returned, I also think I aggravated it by trying to “stretch” my foot muscles and forcing myself to walk on the ball of my foot. One morning, I woke up and my foot was double its normal size and I hightailed it to the urgent care.

It’s still swollen and hurting, but at least it has gone down some. I keep it elevated and I am taking anti-inflammatory medicine. Hopefully it doesn’t get worse. My girls have been taking good care of me too. I feel bad though because I haven’t really been able to cook or clean (never thought I’d say that). Sometimes standing for too long causes my foot to hurt really badly, so we’ve been surviving off of not-so-healthy foods.

But they are praying over my foot for healing. And the good news, is that they are with their father for the weekend, so I can really just keep my foot up and do nothing. I have been surviving off of pizza and coffee and peanut butter sandwiches. LMBO! I’ll be fine. And I’ll attempt to go grocery shopping later tonight, when there aren’t so many crowds, and I can limp around the store with ease.

I’ve had to catch myself a couple of times from allowing myself to wallow in self-pity because of my injury. Of course, I had to also stop myself from feeling bad when we got off of the plane and were at the airport. I just kept thinking how there was no one I could call and tell them that I was back home, no one to meet us at the airport and no one to help us with the luggage when we got home. And no one to help me after these sesamoid bones started acting up.

It’s funny how a moment will make you just lose all focus of how far you’ve come from certain situations and BOOM! You’re back to thinking and feeling and wondering and asking that question of why…but I was able to fight through those moments. Again, I give glory to God for the strength that I have. You guys know, a few years back, I would have been in my favorite position, curdled up in the fetal position, crying my eyeballs out. I can allow myself some sadness, but not too much. It’s just not worth it. 🙂

I’ve come so far, there’s no more need to cry over spilled, divorced milk. Sometimes, I find myself wondering and thinking about my ex and his life and whether or not he cares about me, but I’ve also learned to stop myself and just not focus on him and those other questions. They’re not relevant anymore. Cause even if he were, so what? It won’t change anything. And that’s okay.

Now, I just want to continue to focus on God, my gremlins, school and work. And apparently, these sesamoid bones want some attention too. I think I’ve got enough on my plate.