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I have my moments where I feel some different types of emotions when I know that my ex is taking my kids out of town. I can’t explain it. I’m happy for my girls, that he’s doing something with them, but at the same time, it really bothers me. Anyone else feel that way? I think I would feel the same even if he were single and was still going out of town with the kids. I’m not sure if it feels worse because he’s taking his marriage-disrupting, slut Rhino of a gf and acting like one big happy family with my kids as well.

Well, after writing and re-reading that sentence, it’s probably more the latter than the former. It’s that feeling of, that should be me, that’s my family and you betrayed me/us and now you’re doing things that you could have been doing with me/us. I have stray moments where I swear I am totally and completely over him and his stupidity, but then…he pulls a “family” vacation card and I just get to feeling icky all over again.

And I know it’s also because of the holidays. I love celebrating holidays. I don’t go all out for them, but I do love holidays and Halloween is one of my favorites. I think he’s taking them to Mickey’s Halloween Party, which is great. My girls will enjoy themselves and he needs to spend some money on them. I wanted to take them, but it would cost me over $1k to go. So please! Go ahead! Take them. I’ll save my money for out of the country trips!

IDK, I just wish that my heart was completely healed and that I completely forgave him and completely released him. I’m definitely a lot better than I was last year and so forth. I hope I won’t always feel this tinge, even after I find someone for myself.

I know God will do it, I know He will. And He is already healing me and comforting me. I just wish I could be like some people and just be done with it all, already! Some people have absolutely no problem in letting go. But me, chile boo. Takes a long while, apparently. But I’ll get there with God’s help. He definitely takes care of the brokenhearted.

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