Man, it feels like I haven’t written anything in about a million years! I guess you could or would consider that a good thing, no? I usually only come on here to write when I am angry at the ex. But there have been some moments where I was angry with him but I still didn’t blog about it. Even today, I am not angry about anything, and there is something going on, but God has been so good to me, that I don’t even allow the retardedness that is him, to disrupt my peace anymore.
Sometimes I want to come on here and write about some good things too. I don’t just want it to be about the negative things that I encounter with the ex. I have some moments where I am just bursting at the seams about the goodness of God and I need to share it with the world. For one, I am definitely healed, emotionally. I am no longer the broken Christian heart from 2013. I am scared to read some of my earlier posts because I don’t want to relive the pain, nor do I want to remember how I was at those moments. I was weak, embarrassed, ashamed and so painfully heartbroken back then.
But I can look back and thank God that I went through what I went through, because I am definitely stronger and ready and able to conquer anything that life brings my way. Whether it’s dealing with the ex or any other negative person or thing.
School is coming along very well. There was a moment where I was slacking, but I am picking myself back up. There shouldn’t be any breaks in school. When you have a break, it’s murder getting back on track! And the enemy knew it and sent a lazy spirit after me. Hardest hold to break and I’m still struggling. My schooling on top of the girls’ schooling is a lot of schooling, trust me! But we’re all doing well. And I have 3 more classes and then I finish this June. YAY ME!
Work is still wonderful and church is awesome. I’ve been doing a lot of YouTube watching. I found a really great pastor on there to supplement what I am learning from my actual church. And of course, I am reading some really great books. It’s funny how I thought I didn’t have a life because I was not going out to clubs and dancing and living the Sex and the City life that I assumed other people were doing. Puh-lease, I do more before 6am than darn near a lot of people! LOL!!!
And I am now cherishing my time alone when the girls are with the ex. I am able to focus on me and reset myself. And honey, if I don’t want to do nothing, that’s exactly what I do. NOTHING! And I sleep where I want, when I want. And without any shame. 2017 is bringing some new-ness to my life and I’m happy. Still no boyfriend, but I’m not looking, so what do you expect? God will bring him when the time is right. I think the time will be right after I graduate. I don’t need the added distraction. If I can’t focus sometimes because of the girls, imagine if I had a man?
I’d be getting pulled in three different directions, constantly! Sometimes the thought of having a boyfriend is actually more fun than having one. And I can continue to build a relationship with the Lord while I am single. Once I am courting and married, God is not going to be my main and sole focus. So, I need to get my personal relationship with Him even stronger so I don’t put God in the background when he comes.
I have these moments where I think about closing my blog, but I think that my words help people sometimes when they read about my past pain. When they realize that there is an end out of that painful divorce tunnel. To think, that the sun actually shined again? To believe in love and hope again? To really understand that the tears will stop falling? And to understand fully that God is there with you through it all? It’s an amazing, eye-opening experience. Who knew? I know who knew…everyone that had ever experienced heartbreak. But we all have to go through our devastation in our own time and way before we experience the breakthrough from the heartbreak!
Whelp! Here’s a little update regarding the ex. He’s still a jerk. Are you shocked? LOL! And he’s taking me back to court because he is trying to get out of one of his responsibilities and decided that he’s had enough! LMBOOOOOO!!!! So, we’re going to court, this time with LAWYERS! So, he’s really wasting both our time and money. I don’t know when we’re going to court, but it’s coming soon. He just served me the other night. I’ll let you know what the outcome is. Just know that there will be no sad hearts involved!!! Ciao!