I am ridiculously in a good mood today! And I thank the Lord, Jesus Christ for it! Why? Because I am at peace! I noticed this year, or rather, after I found out about my ex’s baby, I have been more at peace with this whole divorce situation. I really, truly and honestly have completely let him go. Now, don’t get it twisted, I don’t mean that I will be BFF’s with him or anything like that.
I still don’t speak to him because he can be truly disrespectful. But I don’t waste my time praying for my marriage or asking for him to come back to us. I have come to peace that it is what it is and I don’t want none of what he’s giving. He’s still broke, but pretending to live like a king. He’s still treating his own mother badly. And I realized from speaking with my mother-in-law, that her husband has only gotten worse when it comes to treating her badly too. I saved, or rather, my EX, saved me 37 years of torment and unhappiness.
And to you, ex-sweetheart, I say THANKS! I finally see the light! And I am grateful!
My girls had a blast opening presents this morning and just running around making a mess. We laughed, played some games, danced and sang a few impromptu carols. And they were totally happy and so was I! I felt the depression trying to come over me a few days ago, but I got my butt right into prayer and I went to my Father in Heaven and told Him that it had to go!
Which is why I am joyful. Even while knowing that I won’t see my girls until next week. But it’s cool. I will go to work and enjoy a little “me” time. Which entails me going to work and then collapsing on my couch with my boyfriend, Netflix. I can actually Netflix and chill without being worried about getting pregnant. LOL!
I am going to pray that this feeling continues throughout the week. And if it doesn’t and I unknowingly allow the enemy to make me feel a certain way, at least I know how to fight back. And that is the best Christmas present that I could ever give myself!!!
Well….that and being completely debt free from my school loans! LMBO!
God bless and Merry Christmas, people!!!
I need to stay off of Facebook. At least until Feb. Why? Because of all the holiday cheery goodness that’s running rampant on social media. I am not bitter, but I still get sad at the fact that holidays are for families, I mean, WHOLE families and mine is still very much broken.
I have two friends that got engaged this week. And I am happy for them, don’t get me wrong, but again, my broken heart. It just takes me back to being married and how my asshole ex mucked everything up with his selfishness. Add to that the fact that these engagements were like, how I would have loved to have gotten engaged, you know, surrounded by friends and family and totally surprised, and you can understand how I would be a tad affected by all of this.
Plus, the idiot ex and his pregnant slut is due in January and I really don’t want to see anyone liking his pictures or anything like that. I will have to endure what I will have to endure in due time, and I don’t need to see anyone congratulating him.
That’s how I feel and I am entitled to how I feel, thank you very much.
I have a friend that is going through some emotional turmoil as well. I will try to be there for him as much as I can. But his relationship with his ex gf is retarded. They break up to makeup, that’s all they do. (song pun intended).
But I am here to be his shoulder as he has been for me. I just pray he finds someone else. The holidays can also be the most loneliest times of the year. But I’ve been keeping busy with the girls and church. I haven’t receded into the bowels of deep depression. And I don’t think that I will. I have been keeping busy with church and work and family.
And I have been doing a lot of praying. Loads and tons of prayer. The ex-married lover told me that prayer doesn’t work. Yeah, sure it doesn’t. If he only knew what I know. He laughs at the relationship that I have with Christ. I think it’s partly out of jealousy that he can’t or rather doesn’t want to have a relationship with him.
But I know how powerful prayer can be and I know that it is working in me, through me and over me. I know because I feel it and I have seen what prayer can do. When I am walking in God’s will and doing things God’s way, I see my prayers manifest. Just like with this holiday season, I can see and feel myself a lot more stronger than last year.
There may be some things that are still hard to tolerate, but, that’s what prayer is for. 🙂
So my mission for the rest of the year will be to stay off of Facebook as much as I possibly can, to comfort those that need comfort and to continue to pray until I can’t pray anymore. Yep….sounds good to me!
People are always asking me if I am getting along with my ex now, because they know how things were/has been for the last 4 years. And I always give them the same answer. “Things are great! Especially since I am not asking him for anything. But the minute I do, his claws and unreasonable manor comes out.”
Can you guess what happened? 🙂
YUP! I had the AUDACITY to ask this man for something! Can you believe my chutzpah?!
Yes, chile! Me, his high school sweetheart, turned wife, turned mother of his two (legal) children turned unbeknownst to her, ex-wife. Had the BALLS to ask him for a favor.
Which didn’t require any money from him, mind you. Just required a little time and energy.
What was this outrageous, egregious favor I asked of him? To fill out a form that would give me permission to get passports for our two kids. SOMEBODY CALL THE COPS, I’M OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!!
I didn’t ask him to pay for the passports. I simply asked for his signature. And to get the forms notarized. That’s all folks. LITERALLY.
His reply was that he did not think that we were on the same page when it came to co-parenting and that because I did not provide him with flight information from previous vacations (within the US), that he was not going to sign anything until our co-parenting improved.
Well, excuse me, Senor Beotch! Could have fooled the crap out of me. I thought we were co-parenting just fine. I mean, you see your kids on your time, you call them whenever the wind hits you just right or whenever you remember you have kids AND, I’m no longer asking you for any money outside of the child support. That last time when I asked you for that huge amount of money, remember that whopping $60 and you told me to fuck off? Trust me, I learned my lesson! And have since then, have not bothered you a lick!
And now that I am asking you to fill out a form, you are going straight ham on me once again…
You wanna know what I told him as a response? I replied, “No problem.”
And it really isn’t a problem, because after that, I got my butt on the internet and started looking for the documentation that I will need to file a motion to get this done. He is just being unreasonable and ain’t nobody got time for that!
I can no longer be bothered with the bullshit. This wasn’t the way that I wanted to end nor start my year, but hey. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. And just because he’s too chicken shit to leave his neighborhood, doesn’t mean that my girls have to be the same way too.
As long as God is blessing me, I will explore the world with my gremlins. I will enlighten them to culture and beauty beyond what they see at home. And God is blessing me.
But you know what’s so good about karma? The ex actually had to ask me for a favor right after he told me to go to hell about the passports. I haven’t responded to his email yet, but I will. And I will remind him that reciprocation goes a long way. Let’s see if any of that falls, lands and sticks in that hollowed out log he calls a head….
That’s what time my eyeballs popped open. Why? No answer. I wasn’t having a nightmare or anything like that. I just woke up. Then I started watching tv. Then I started playing candy crush. Then I was all over Facebook.
And now, I’m here. 😊
And I am feeling lonely. I suspect these are the hours that a person would feel lonely, right?
But it’s cool. I will be alright. I know that these holidays bring certain emotions and feelings and I won’t wallow in them.
Eh, it’s tough trying to be still and wait on the Lord. What am I waiting for? Everything. A Godly man, increased finances, being debt free, I’m waiting for all of it.
And while I’m waiting, I’m watching Joyce Meyer. And wondering when God is going to send me this great revelation. And when He’s gonna do what He’s promised.
Ugh…lemme take my ass back to bed.
Yesterday was good. It was sweet, uneventful, and full of joy and laughter. I had a good time, first, with my girls at my in-laws house, (sans ex) and then i went solo to one of my friend’s house. And all day I received texts of turkey love from friends and family.
There were moments of small anxiety episodes but I overcame them. Little moments of depression mixed with memories but nothing I couldn’t pray away. It wasn’t super easy but at least I am not where I used to be. I have come a long way.
Weekends without my babygirls and sharing holidays still suck 100% but I am getting more and more used to it. I should already be used to it by now, right? I’ll still take it day by day. Four years is a long time, but whatever.
And because it’s the holidays, I am thinking about someone I have no business thinking about, simply because I am missing them and super lonely. Damn these holidays for being family and couple oriented.
But at least I can handle those thoughts and memories. They don’t cause me anxiety. A little sadness, but nothing that can’t be patiently prayed away. Lol…
Why is it that you always want the person or thing that you can’t/aren’t supposed to have? That saying is so totally true. Life’s a bitch and then you die. I wish I could be one of those women that are totally at peace with being the “other woman.” I think it would make my life so much easier.
I could be at ease with my decisions and I don’t even think I’d get attached emotionally. But, oh NO! I have to fall in love and shit. Lol…
I can laugh now. With that situation and my ex-husband situation. Regardless, the holidays have started off pretty okay. And I’m happy with that. 😄
It’s from a blogger that calls herself “Chump Lady”. And trust me, she has endured the same as the rest of us who are experiencing or have experienced infidelity from the ex-idiots in our lives. She is thoroughly precise and extremely funny. Do yourself a favor and check her out!
I was talking to my (ex) mother-in-law, and she was telling me how her son, my ex, and his slut gf are trying to convince her to babysit for them because they won’t be able to afford daycare. You know, since she’s making HALF of what he makes, and her son is STILL in daycare and the fact that he is paying child support for TWO previous children. And now, NOW you dumb idiots realize that you won’t be able to afford daycare or any care period for this new kid??? Hmmm…dumb-asses!
I’m sorry, but I cannot and I will not give any person, especially these two, any kind of sympathy when they willingly put themselves in this kind of position. These two yokels already knew that money was tight because of his child support and his/her bad spending habits. And let’s not forget that they have two large car payments, one of the cars was repossessed but they were able to get it back because he borrowed money (and never paid it back) from family members. And let us also remember how he couldn’t afford the rent at his apt, because she wasn’t paying any of the bills.
AND, they are living in her mom’s house, supposedly saving money, but I know that’s a load of bull. Give me a break. Tack on student loan bills that are current from him, and the slut gf started going to online college and of course, those were on loans too, and the credit card bills and his storage bill for all his furniture from his apt PLUS whatever new bills are gonna pop up from this pregnancy and all the baby things that will be needed, and these two fools are shit out of luck.
People just do not think. And of course, the good ole saying of, “there’s never a “good” time to have kids is also bullshit. There was no reason for that heffa to get pregnant. She already had a child and he has two. They had plenty of time, to save and do things the right way. I really do believe she did this to try to lock him down. Hell, it didn’t work for me, chica, and I was his wife! So, you go ahead and give it the ole college try, like so many women before you have. You gonna get a real wake up call…
And now they want help. Ain’t that a bitch?! And I asked my mom-in-law, “well, what about the slut gf’s mother? Can’t she watch the kid?” Only to hear that her mother is working TWO jobs! I can’t believe it! Stupidity actually is hereditary. Everyone is in a financial bind in that tiny house. And everyone is still making stupid and rash decisions with their lives or just not thinking at all. And that was my ex’s Achilles heel, if you will. Making rash and stupid decisions. Not thinking things through. Not worrying about the future or the consequences of certain actions.
I tell you the man blamed me, ME, for his attorney fees and for having to pay child support. I still don’t know how I got the blame. What? You gonna blame me for putting your dick in someone else’s pussy too?! I’m the one to blame for you filling out divorce papers and trying to convince yourself that you weren’t happy? Even though you were on the phone crying to me about how hard this all was for you and how you wish you could come back home? Puh-lease! Consequences, my brother. Consequences.
And I am sure that they are happy that there is a baby coming, but the financial thunder is coming with that baby too. And they are just choosing to ignore it. The one thing that my ex used to love to say is, “we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” Negro, right about now, yo’ ass is bunging jumping. LOL!!!
I should have known better though, to expect ghetto, hood-rat people not to give a damn about their lives, neither the present nor the future. Because they basically only live in the now. I know God says that we shouldn’t worry, but He also tells us to be smart. These two fools will find a way to make it by either NOT paying a bill, because we all know that if you don’t pay a bill, the bill magically goes away…………..right.
Or, they’ll try to get his child support lowered, which I already checked on and that is definitely not going to happen based on Florida child support guidelines. I foresee welfare for the two of them. Taxpayer money going down the tubes and into the hands of morons.
Wow, wow and wow. That’s all I can say. He left a family of four to support a “family” of, 6 if you think about it. Cause when he has my two kids, it’s now 6 of them, every other weekend. He’s gonna need a bigger car. And did I tell you he told his mom that he wants to rent out a house? Yup, the man can’t afford cheese, but he’s gonna rent a house. God bless his stupid, little soul.