Once again, tonight as a matter of fact, I got cursed out by my ex-husband. Cursed out because he didn’t come through as an adult, as a parent and I called him on it. Need some back story? Well, why don’t you have a seat!
It all started on a Friday night when he came and picked up the girls and took them for his weekend. I texted him and told him that our oldest had homework that needed to be completed in it’s entirety. So, fast forward to Sunday night when they return. The homework was done, but not done properly. So, being a responsible adult/parent, I called their father. I hate talking to him, but when I have to speak to him, I pick up the phone and call him instead of the whole emailing/texting scenario that we usually have to entertain. The conversation went as follows:
Me: D didn’t do her homework. I told you that she had homework.
Ex: She did do her homework.
Me: But she didn’t do it properly, the way that it needed to be done. She wrote two little paragraphs and this assignment required a specific type of format and more information than what she provided. Didn’t you help her with it? Didn’t you read the instructions on the front of the packet?
Ex: She told me that she read the story. She told me that she knew what she had to do.
Me: But she’s 10. She’s not gonna do everything right and you should have looked it over. Did you read the instructions?
Ex: No. I didn’t.
Me: (silent) Ok. (I hang up the phone.)
Then he calls back and asks to speak to D. So I give her the phone and put it on speaker so I can hear the conversation. He goes on to ask my child why she didn’t do her homework the right way, why SHE didn’t tell him what she had to do. At that point I took the phone away and told him that it is not her responsibility, it is HIS to make sure that she does her homework the right way. I told him that he wasn’t going to put the guilt on her or the burden of finishing her homework the right way on her. She’s only 10! I told him that he should have read the instructions and gone over the homework that she attempted. He tells me that he wants to talk to her and I told him, “unless you are going to apologize for not doing what a parent should have done and checked her homework, you can’t speak to her. She is not at fault. She is 10 and wants to play and she is not going to do what she needs to do without us checking on what she’s done.” That’s when he screamed at me, “SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
And that’s when I hung up the phone. I refuse to allow myself to be disrespected by this man. I refuse. I don’t know why this man is so angry with me all the time. He is always saying how we don’t co-parent but when I try, by giving him some responsibility, he does it half-ass and sometimes not at all. I’m so tired of the arguing and disrespect. He’s supposed to be so happy in his new little life, then why is he such a JERK?!
And why can’t I count on him? Who doesn’t check their 10 year old child’s homework?! It’s been 5 years and I am still fighting with this man. I am soooooo tired. So tired. He called back to ask if he could speak to our oldest and I told him she was busy doing her homework. He asked he she could call when she was finished and I just told him “goodnight.” I hung up afterwards. There was no apology, no remorse for the language that he used with me. He just thinks he can disrespect me and not apologize for his actions. But this is what happens when you have to deal with a narcissist. They never think that they are wrong. Everyone else is wrong in the world, even if they put themselves in a situation, YOU end up being the one in the wrong. Not them. And I refuse for him to put that guilt and blame on my child.
Yes, she should have done her homework properly, but she’s a CHILD. No child, unless they are an absolute genius, is going to do their homework properly without an adult checking their work.
Lord, please help me. Come and take the wheel………
I can’t co-parent with this person. The man I married is dead. I don’t know who this person is…