Hey shawty! (That’s ME!) It’s your birthday! (Still ME!)
Yes, it is my birthday and I am the big 3-8! Even though I do not feel 38, and very happy to report that I do not look 38. Although, I cannot tell you what 38 is actually supposed to look like, especially since no one seems to be looking their rightful age, nowadays. LOL! But, nonetheless, I thank the Lord that I still maintain great genetics and that I am still blessed to have a fun-loving, childlike spirit.
Today, before I even got out of bed, as I do everyday, I gave my thanks to the King, my Lord, Jesus Christ. Without Him, I literally would not be here. And regardless of the traumas I have endured in the past, I can’t say that I would have it any other way. I know He is blessing me and just waiting to give me more, More, MORE!
Double RR was the first phone call of the day. October is going to be 6 months with him. (YAY!) This man loves me. I mean, he just loves me and adores me. I had to finally admit to him that it was feeling kind of weird with the way that he just showers me with all this love and attention. I am so not used to it. And it made me feel sad in a way because I was saying to myself, I was really messing around with some straight up JERKS in my past!!! It shouldn’t feel weird that someone really loves you and cares for you and shows you, right? That should be a norm, but unfortunately, it is not always this way.
It made me realize that in all of my past relationships, I was the one always chasing the man (or rather, the boy) and showing all the love and affection and attention. Don’t get me wrong, my exes weren’t horrible, stoic people, but the love that they showed, it wasn’t how I needed to be loved. And I took it because I didn’t know any better. And I thought it was “love.” It might of been love to them, but I always felt like it was lacking, but couldn’t express my thoughts/feelings to them. And because we were so young, they wouldn’t have been very receptive to receiving them either. Even with my ex-husband, as we got older, he wouldn’t listen to how I felt about anything. I just had to get past and get over. My feelings were never taken into serious consideration.
But Double RR is making me see the difference and the light! He sent me a birthday present that is coming this week, he sent me a birthday shout out on FB that totally embarrassed me a loving way. I am super, uber shy and his proclamation of love just made me turtle up! LOL!!!! Never has a man professed his love for me like that, publicly. Even before the internet, none of my exes would do anything that would showcase how they felt about me outside of the relationship. So, this is new. And I guess if he’s shouting it from the social media mountaintops, this is real for him too. LMBOOOOO!!!!
It just feels really nice to be in love and to be loved by someone who isn’t afraid to show love. The ladybugs and I are going to NYC in Oct for a weekend visit. I miss Double RR and I miss my dad. So, we’re gonna go and see them both! The ladybugs don’t know that we are going yet, though. It’s a surprise. Plus, when I do tell them in advance about a vacation, they bug the crap outta me, so they are on a need to know basis. And right now, they do not need to know! They really adore Double RR and they are missing grandpa like crazy. They are going to be so happy to see them both!
Life is good! Happy birthday to me! 🙂