Things are going so well for me in so many different areas of my life. Big things popping with work, *fingers crossed* and I made the worship team at church!!! YAY ME!!! My youngest graduated from Kindergarten, my oldest is working hard at bringing up her grades. I’m almost done with school, HALLELUJAH! And of course, things are so so great with Double R. The only thing that remains the same is the ex…you’re not shocked, I know…
But I digress…Double R is my heart. People really do not explain how to be a Christian while dating. How do you handle wanting to have sex but NOT having sex??? It’s tough, man. I already broke the no-kissing rule. That went right out the window. My flesh is on fire. I fast, pray, and thank God that he lives far away but shoot, we are going to see each other this month. I have to keep myself in prayer and try to behave myself, seriously. And he’s planning on coming back in July. Just pray for me that I keep it together. Being celibate in a relationship that is so freaking passionate is ROUGH!
I am so afraid of doing the wrong things and having the same outcome as my marriage. I don’t need any demons having their hand at my relationship, no thank you! I want us set on a solid foundation of Christ. He really is a great guy. The level of emotions that is going on between us, it’s amazing. Didn’t have that with my ex nor with the married guy. He really cares for me and my girls. I went to NYC in May for his father’s memorial ceremony and it was a beautiful ceremony and each and every moment that I spent with him was truly wonderful. He took me on a first date where we walked to Little Italy and had dinner in a very nice restaurant and then he took me to see the NJ skyline and it was just……magical.
That is the only word I can use to describe it. Magical.
I waited for years, for someone of his caliber to come into my life. Yes, it is still early in the relationship, but there is just a feeling. That this is right. And I’m not desperate, I didn’t set out to start a relationship. I only went to get re-acquainted with an old family friend.
Our story is amazing.
Someone prophesied over me earlier in the year, and she has been right two out of the three times that she did prophesy over me. So, I think this is the 3rd. In fact, I know it is.
While I was in NYC, I met more of his family, his daughter, (she is a sweetheart) and I met his ex. THANK GOD that they have a good relationship. I wish I could have the same relationship with my ex, but you guys know that is not going to happen for me. Not my fault! I only told one person this, just one person. And she was a stranger. And now I am telling you… I am in love with this man and he is in love with me. Even before we kissed, we just knew. The feeling is so overwhelming.
I’m a pretty logical chick, and the feelings that I am having do not make any sense, but at the same time, they do. I could never understand before how people would say that they knew that they were in love with their significant other at first sight, or after a short amount of time, but now, I can understand. It can happen. And it has happened, to me. To us. And I am so happy. And thankful.
It’s about time.